He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
