I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
