oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
