So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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