she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
