I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
