Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
