she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
