I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm like, not good at living.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
