is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
