no. you can't hotbox the world.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
