Having a random hookup so left but love u
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
