she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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