You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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