omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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