some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
