You're a womanizer and a bitch.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
