I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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