i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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