My nipple is on Facebook.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
