two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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