the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
