So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
