i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize