then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
