i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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