were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
