I can feel you judging me through the phone.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
