This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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