you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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