i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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