can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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