So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
