You made me cry and you don't even care
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
