so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
