it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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