Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
