Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
