Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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