i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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