It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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