How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
