So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
