Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Randomize
