a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
