the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck