Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
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Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
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You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.