3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
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HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.