I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
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and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
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I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.