There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
