Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
