I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I believe in your delicious
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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