i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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