when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
