You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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