Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just threw up on my dentist
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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