Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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