Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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