Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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