Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
