He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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