3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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